A well-loved child has a full love tank, good emotional health, less behavior issues, a lesser need for peer and teacher attention and are not as influenced by peer pressure. How is this possible? Well, you’ve filled your child up with so much good love, that they have less need to seek it from the outside world. I am sure most of you have heard the expression that children are like sponges. Absorbing everything and anything around them. If you fill a sponge up with water, it will be so saturated that there’s no more space for water to come in. The same thing works for your children. By filling your child’s emotional tank with unconditional love it will be easier to discipline and train your child. Speaking your child’s primary love language, as well as sprinkling in the other four love languages, will build a stronger relationship in your family and help your child grow into a giving, loving and responsible adult. Gary Chapman said, “Only a child who feels genuinely loved and cared for can do (their) best.” So, how do you fill up your child’s tank? There are five primary love languages and your child will react strongly to at least one of them. They are as follows:
1 - Words of affirmation: this language is sincere words of kindness and affirmation you use to express how you feel and express love. If this is your love language, verbal reassurance, encouragement and compliments make a world of difference.
2 - Acts of service: this language means actions speak louder than anything else. You feel loved and appreciated when your loved ones make your life easier by helping you with tasks, errands, chores and the like.
3 - Receiving gifts: with this language giving is always a part of love, but for those who feel and express love through this love language, tangible symbols of love are most powerful. To you, a gift tells you that your loved one is thinking of you and appreciates you.
4 - Quality time: this language simply means giving someone your undivided presence and attention. If you feel and express love this way, you’re happy simply taking a walk together, having a meal together or chatting about your day.
5 - Physical touch: this language is physical affection that communicates comfort, support and love. If this is how you feel love, simply sitting together with your loved one, hugs or physical contact can make a world of difference.
So how do you know which love language resonates with your child? First take a moment to answer these questions for yourself. Don’t think about how anyone else would answer these questions. Don’t answer them they way you think they should be answered. Answer them honestly and for you.
What makes you feel the best? It is more meaningful to me when… I feel connected to someone when… I feel most appreciated when my loved one… When I am feeling down or stressed, I feel better when my loved one… I feel loved when someone… My feelings are hurt when my loved one… To show love to your loved one, you usually…
Then think about the same questions for each one of your children, and then try each love language out and OBSERVE their reactions. As people almost always try to show love to others in their own primary love language, you can also observe the following for each of your children.
How does your child show their love to you?
How does your child show love to their siblings?
How does your child show love to their best friend?
How does your child show love to their grandparents, cousins?
How does your child show love to their teacher?
Taking the time to figure out which love language resonates most with your child will pay dividends for years to come. It will deepen your bonds and strengthen their character. Best of luck, and leave a comment to let us know what your child’s love language is.